Never Lost your Faith

Lately, I have been really sick, and I was at the Sheldon M. Chumir Health Center on Monday night due to the high fever. 

Picture took by Tracy at Sheldon M. Health Center

I flied to Vancouver to meet up relatives on May 31st, 2012, and I believed I caught a cold at there. Since I am a nursing student, I thought I was able to take care of myself. However, I got a high fever which was 39 degree at friday night, and the fever had lasted for 6 days. I was so scared that I might have H1N1; therefore, I ran into the emergency  center at 11pm on June 5th.

I saw there were lots of familiar faces that I used to work with, and I watched them running around with patients' charts. Suddenly, I realized that I was a patient who had a 40 degree fever, and I was not one of the health providers anymore. I felt so weak that I might not be able to get well anymore, then I started to think back what I had done for my patients when I was a nurse. The example that I would to like to share kept popping out at that time when I was waiting for the doctor, and I guess I finally understood that how important when there was a hope.

Due to confidentiality, the patient is referred to as Mr.H.  Mr. H. has admitted to the hospital (Foothills unit 32)for 3 weeks with different kinds of chronic illness. Therefore, he has been receiving a large number of painful treatments everyday .

 One night when I was on duty, he grabbed my arms and begged me:" Please let me go and I really want to go". I looked at the fingers that hold my hands and I could not find a single piece of skin without a purple and bluish scar because nurses needed to get his blood glucose lever check every 4 hours due to his Diabetes II. I was too shocked to reply him and I ran away and reported to my primary nurse. Later on, I noticed that Mr. H. was cooperated with us in a positive way when his daughter was around, and he appeared happy.

I had to chance to chat with Mr. H. and asked how his family members affected his illness, " whenever I want to quit, they give me a hope" stated by him. " Girl, do not ever lose your faith or hope even though you want to quit just like I did before". Honestly, I thought I was a  positive and outgoing person that I would not even lose my hope at any time.

However, I was hopeless because no matter how much medications I took, the fever just would not go away and it kept getting higher. I was scared, mad and hopeless, and somehow, Mr. H.'s words kept popping out which reminded me that no matter what I should not lose my faith, and I prayed for myself.

Fortunately, the results was negative, and I only had a serious virus. When I went to do the double check later on, my coworker told me that there was a boy had the same virus was not be able fight it by his own body, and he was sent to the isolation area on that morning. I guess maybe my faith never given up on me, and it guided me through all the crises. I wanted to thanks to Mr. H. who I had no chance to see anymore, and thanks for giving me a very important lecture and saving my life. Please rest in peace.