Stop trying to “get it together” based on how society has defined it.
The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as we’re adults, as soon as we’re in college, finish college, get that job, have that steady income, find that someone special, “find ourselves,” find that perfect house, get that retirement fund, have those children, everything will fall into place.
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| a book from "Open Library" -Brain D. McLaren |
Here’s a secret: it won’t.
Every new development in your life, good or bad, big or small, will come with its own very special set of challenges. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be. But the myth is perpetuated throughout life, perhaps now more than ever with happy status updates on Facebook and blushing bride/happy multi-tasking mommy blog posts.
What these success stories don’t tell you is what is going on behind closed doors. They don’t tell you that your friend who is so over the moon with her new baby had to apply for food stamps. They don’t tell you that your fantastic, involved professor struggles with depression. They don’t tell you that your happily married friend still has nightmares about her abusive ex. They don’t tell you the cousin who just got that jealousy-inducing job opportunity is thinking of breaking up with his boyfriend of 10 years.
What closely interacting with people from all backgrounds on the Internet for over a decade has taught me is that no one “has it together” in the way we think they do.
So stop trying to have that as your goal.
Just be kind and try to help as many people as you can. That’s a better way of “getting it together” for the world.
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ReplyDeleteThis book seems interesting to read! I grew up thinking that I will find a husband, have a kid and a good job by the time I am 27 years old. But i don't think that will happen! It is really hard to be successful and live the life you want because everything costs a lot and finding a good guy is really hard too. i definitely want to read this book and read about other people lives.
I really liked this blog post. The book seems really interesting, and your description was very well written. I like the idea of this because it teaches people to never judge a person based on what you see. What you can see as an outsider is probably only about 10% of what their reality is.
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